I have reached a point in my life where I have achieved a level of personal autonomy I never thought possible. I did the work, and I survived one struggle after another. I have always managed to “get by”—only to look around and see that the environment that sustains those freedoms, the very things that got me to this point, have become so fragile.
When I talk about freedom It’s important to understand the two forms of Freedom, “Free From” (escaping a bad situation or a dictator) and being “Free To” (feeling safe, actually living, creating, enjoying life, and thriving).
Knowing this helps understand that there is a specific kind of exhaustion that comes with this constant cycle of gains and losses—the stress that comes with fighting your whole life. A continued generational fight that seems to never end. When you spend all your energy on just securing your own survival it feels like you are not doing enough for others.
An often brutal result of being stuck in the struggle is demoralization that can lead to the fallacy that freedom is far out of reach. It can be very destructive and I personally have witnessed the real cost of long-term struggle: the lives lost.
For you see resilience isn’t a gift, it isn’t free; it’s learned and paid for in grief.
I am at a precipice, and I know that all of this is exhausting and painful. But I will not give up my kindness; I will continue for the memories of the ones who lost their fights and to protect those who will come to fight after me.
Even after all this time, I am not done trying to figure it all out.
These are the reasons I assert my rights: secure freedom for myself and, most importantly, the freedom of others.
